Confidence helps others relax around you, and is one of the most attractive qualities someone can have. Do not, under any circumstances, lead with a pick-up line. It will make you come across as somebody who is impersonally trying to hit on every cute girl you see.
Make an opening comment about something in the area. This can be anything from a response to the music, to a brief opinion of the gym or a goofy gym member. You can also bring up the equipment, how a class went, or talk about her gear in an impersonal way. Keep any compliments non-physical. People can feel particularly self-conscious about their bodies at the gym. Try saying something along these lines.
Are you training for anything in particular? Ask the girl for help with equipment or an exercise. This request can be about anything from how to use the squat rack, to the proper form for a lat pulldown. You can even ask her to spot you, just make sure she can actually help you with the amount of weight you choose. Part 3.
Watch for hints of disinterest or interest. Staying laid back is crucial because being overly eager can be off-putting at best and frightening at worst. The gym is not intended as a first date location. Speaking too much to her too early forces her to fake being friendly or express disinterest as obviously as possible. Avoid asking for her number or asking her on a date immediately. This may make her feel rushed, intimidated, or threatened. The goal of these initial exchanges is to make yourself more familiar to her without making her feel uncomfortable.
After speaking with her a little, leave when the conversation seems to be dragging or she seems distracted. Build on previous conversations in subsequent days. For example, if you talked about a show the first time, tell her about another good show you've recently watched. If she recommended a workout class to you and you attended it, let her know how the class was.
After the initial ice is broken, talking to her at the gym should be a bit more like talking to a girl anywhere else: listen carefully to what she says and be yourself when you're responding. Invite her out after a couple more conversations.
Two or three interactions should be sufficient. Can I have your number? Don't be discouraged by rejection. There are many other great girls out there! If things don't quite work out with this one, there will be other chances. Being rejected is perfectly normal and doesn't mean anything bad about you as a person. All it means is that you and this particular girl weren't a good fit at this point in time. Start by finding a way to inconspicuously work out near her for a while.
Just be sure to look friendly, not scary. And be a gentleman, she adds. Or ask her for a spot. Finally—and most obviously—avoid anything that smacks of crudeness, like staring as she bends or checking out her breasts.
If not? Of course, even if she does seem interested, staying laid-back is crucial. Overeagerness is unattractive at best and downright intimidating or scary at worst. At least not today. Wait till you see her again, be friendly, and if she still seems open, then make your play. But do ask to meet up another time. AJ Harbinger. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality.
Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.
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